How Deep is Your Self-Love Story?

Marianne Knox: end the heartbreak cycle

How do I love me or love me not, that is the question.

The greatest game-changer in life is uncovering things about yourself that you consider unlovable. Many avoid those parts of themselves at all costs, but the consequences for that are immense. Avoiding parts of yourself is going against the flow of life — we are meant to be on a continuum to understand ourselves at deeper levels.

Have you uncovered something about yourself that was unlovable

Take note of your physical and emotional response to this question: are you feeling open or a bit guarded? That might be a little insight into your current level of self-love. Every part of you (known or unknown) is influencing your life in countless ways. There’s so much more “under the covers,” you could say. You can understand yourself and your life at a much deeper level when you identify and come to terms with all parts of you. 

Many only focus on the qualities that will get others to like or even love them, which creates a false persona or mask. A person with little self-love is more driven to do what it takes to be accepted by others — they’re friend collectors or struggle if someone at their workplace doesn’t care for them. Instagram and Facebook are the perfect landscapes for this.

Can you think of a time in your life when you wanted someone’s approval at any cost? It was the most important thing for you to get. 

Have you gotten caught up in the arena of collecting “likes” vs true emotional connection? Can you truly accept the fact that you’re not for everyone? 

Because of their low level of self-love, many are unaware or won’t acknowledge the parts within them they consider unlovable. They’re still at the stage of hiding or repressing what they deem unlovable or unappealing. This doesn‘t mean that they won’t get there — we’re all innately designed to do this. We’re all given many opportunities to do this deep work of acceptance through our daily experiences. 

However, there’s always freedom of choice: just because you have the opportunity to accept doesn’t mean you will. 

Let’s tap into another playing field. We all act judgmental, angry, selfish, or controlling at times. We’re often unaware we’re doing it, or to the extent, because we’ve buried those unlovable traits so deep that we don’t even realize how much they affect our behavior. 

These traits are foundational in someone who experienced “love lack” in their early years and has not fully healed those parts of their life.

Can you admit to an unlovable trait that you have? If so, are you ready to dive a little deeper into it? Take a moment to put an action plan in place to get started!

You must embrace all of your qualities, the negative and positive ones. That’s the only way to open the gateway to your happiness and peace. Through self-love, you’ll be able to uncover, embrace, and accept all parts of yourself. 

Self-love encompasses how you treat, think, and feel about yourself. So, when you conceptualize self-love, try to imagine what you do, how you talk, and how you feel about yourself that reflects love.

Do you have a negative situation presently that you know you’re being hard on yourself about? 

I’d like for you to pretend that you’re your best friend. What would you say to “you?” With the level of self-love you have presently, can you run with that information and give it life?

Looking back, I know and accept that I avoided many opportunities to look a little deeper at things that were unlovable because of my level of self-love at that time. Now, I see the merry-go-round I kept myself on when I held onto those dark parts a little tighter, refused to see all the parts of me, and believed my reality at that time was “right.” 

I’m so grateful there was a part of me that was stronger than it all, that wouldn’t settle and continued to nudge me. Now, I’m not afraid, even in some ways excited and curious for opportunities to grow and love myself a little deeper.

Your authentic self

I promise you, it is worth it. You’re worth it. Keep placing one foot in front of the other in the direction of self-love. You’ll get there because you’re meant to — but, the choice is yours.

My wish for you is that at the end of your lifetime, you’ll have a beautiful story where you bare all parts of you. You realized that every part of the fabric of your life was the most amazing dance to your becoming.

If you would like to continue chatting on this topic, hop over to the Soulality Community and join us. Click here to sign up if you haven’t already or click here to book a free discovery call with me. 

I’d love to hear from you however it resonates to begin shifting this universal paradigm on self-love.

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